Dancing Green Fairy Lights

"If I stare long and hard I can believe there to be a way out of this tangled wood I entered long before I understood what it meant to be alone surrounded. Letting the fallen pine run through her fingers as if it were sand she cannot help but think on what might have been, what have been! The soft breeze brushes a tendril of hair across my face I let it be, watching it from the corner of my eye as I try to focus on shattered dreams and a broken heart already so accustomed to pain. Even if she were beautiful she would never believe it, for she saw no beauty in people. She knew beauty in the dancing green fairy lights above her head, there is a magnificence in the silent warmth offered underfoot inviting her to lie still at peace. I do not know who I am anymore I searched long and far but all I found was the foolish slur of a drunken girl I know not to be me I refuse to recognise her."

I cannot help but be slightly concerned about the state of mind I was in then and I'm not just talking about the flip flopping between referring to myself in the first and third person but just about the entanglement of words which to any outsider would appear to be an arty flowery way of saying very little...
I kinda like it though, and it makes me sad to think that I've become a a little less random but someday I hope to revisit the dancing green fairy lights.

In the beginning...

So this blog. has sprung from a friend (Hi Dave) telling me about how he's started blogging, and it made me wanna...I used to do it but have totally forgotten where...and so here I've begun again which is kinda cool because it's a blank page. Very exciting!

I kinda know this is going to be more reflection than anything else, I used to write really bad poetry in college and have notepads full of very random thoughts which I'm going to put online just because there has to have been a point to all the thinking...does that make sense? I guess it doesn't matter even if it's all nonsense at least it means I can throw the notepads away, draw a line under all the teen angst.

I'd hoped that by the time I reached 24 I'd have sorted out all the things I worried about in my teenage years but apparently that's not the case...and as I'm turning 25 in the not so distant future I'm determined that in someway maybe I can work out what really matters and what doesn't.

So....this is it, my first blog, if you're reading this then I'm warning you now, undoubtedly I will say 'kinda' a lot and I like to use '...' to represent pauses because sometimes one full stop just isn't enough!

For now though this is it...no doubt soon enough there will be more.

S x